My contribution to the Mayberry Family e-Letter

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Babies R Us

Well I have officially been outposted by the family blog-nazis. It is hard to compete when you are STILL STAYING AT THE HOSPITAL with a recuperating wife. Anyway, well done blog-nazis, well done. I think you both got some quality material.

The birth of baby number three has really got me thinking. A nurse at the hospital called our kids Irish triplets, but all I could come up with in response was, "We're not Irish, we're Scottish" which illustrated that I missed her point completely. All of Ryley's primary friends call me "Ryley's dad" and I guess that is kind of the price of having kids...you lose your identity and become..... what? I am not sure.

Ryley's quote of the week, through tearstained lips: "Maybe you're not such a nice papa after all." Since I have been home all week, I have had to step up my disciplinarian game (I am used to coming home from work and being the "fun" parent) because Kate is busy nursing and sleeping and all that new mom stuff. I think Ryley likes me better as the fun guy too.

PS I have a newfound respect for what my sweetheart does every day. Our kids can be CRAZY!!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

But I like the job I have now....

It has come to my attention (thanks to my dear wife) that it is time to grow up. Not the "stop pulling your sister's hair" type of grow up, but more along the lines of "get a job... no, a career, you dirty bum!' type of grow up. I am not getting any younger, you know, so it is time to bite the bullet and make some decisions that will determine where we will be in the next fifty- that's five zero, baby- years. Crap!

The three irons in the fire are: 1) Army PA school, the path of least resistance, which would let me shoot things (always a plus); 2) keep applying to dental school (third time is a charm??); 3) roll the dice and apply to medical school. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

I am the man in the minivan

Well, I thought it would never happen, but the day has come. I am the owner of an overpriced, seven passenger, Japanese piece of poo. There were times in my life when I would have rather burned my eyes out with hot coals than to own a minivan, yet here we are.

The nice thing is that there is a convenient place in the glove box for my testicles. Don't worry, my wife has the keys to the glove box and she has promised to keep them safe.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Tucson stinks

Driving home from work last night in my 1971 VW bus, I hit the stench trifecta: I (1) farted after eating Jack's spicy tacos from Jack-in-the-box; (2) was passed on the freeway by a semi full of cattle; and (3) drove passed the sewage treatment plant off of Prince. This was all at the same time, mind you, like the stars aligned against me. The combined funk almost made me puke up my chicken fajita pita.

-The End

Thursday, September 07, 2006

I have grass

Last weekend we had a family sod party and man was it fun!! Mom, Dad, Steve, Dave, Lacy, and even Matthew made the trip up from SV and threw down. It went surprisingly well (except for the part where we were 100 sq. ft. short due to inaccurate measuring...damn my ASU education!). Dad saved the day again by offering up his truck for a Home Depot run to get 16 more rolls of sod. Matt was a trooper (or maybe it was Maren for giving up her hubby). Either way it was nice to have everyone over.

Monday, September 04, 2006

My Blog officially stinks...

Well, as if it were ever in question, my blog ES-YOU-SEE-KAY-ES. I just wanted to come clean so nobody thought that I was living in a dream world, thinking that I would ever compete for the family prize of best blog ever.

On a different note, after six months in Tucson, we finally found something that didn't make us long for our life in Tempe. It was.... wait for it.... the ZOO! Reid Park Zoo was way better than I remembered, and, unlike the Phoenix Zoo, the animals could actually hang out without melting into a disgusting pile of animal goo. If you go to the Phoenix Zoo anytime after 9:00 a.m. all you will see are pigeons and a bunch of empty animal habitats (except for them mountain goats, they just parade around on those fenced in peaks, waving their middle hooves at the blazing sun). But really, the Phoenix Zoo is often such a let down, but it is always funny to see the people that rent the peddle carts have to push those poopers up the hills.

PS We bought a season pass to the Reid Park Zoo and hope to go back before the millennium when we can just ride the polar bears around anyway (there really are polar bears in Tucson!!).

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Pat's Run

Last year our family participated in the inaugural Pat Tillman Memorial Run in downtown Tempe. It was one of the many events that we have done as a family that served to solidify our family ties. Even Mom and Dad participated (Amanda, too, and she wasn't even a Mayberry yet!). It was truly a memorable event.

This year the run is the 15th of April. That gives all you fatbodies plenty of time to get training (that means you, Dave). All the proceeds from the race go to honor Pat Tillman's memory and the Leadership Through Action scholarship program of the Pat Tillman Foundation. For more first hand accounts of last year's run, contact your favorite Mayberry.